Volvo has the key to end your car starting woes

IT WAS one of those mornings when I wished I’d stayed in bed. I’d been given the key to a freshly restored Ford Capri – and managed to break it clean in half before I’d even started it!

My face recoiled in horror as a clearly very brittle slither of steel snapped in my hand. Happily, the car had a spare key so it wasn’t a case of stopping play, and the people who owned this 44-year-old car were very nice about it to the red-faced and hugely apologetic journalist. I’m sure I can’t be the only person it’s happened to but it’s definitely up there in my list of all time automotive fails.

If only it’d been sometime next year and a brand new Volvo instead. That’s when, if the Swedish carmaker gets its way, you won’t need to bother with keys at all.

The manufacturer that gave you seatbelts, The Saint’s wheels of choice and slightly mad 1990s estate cars now reckons all you need to start a car up is an app on a smartphone. Simply bring it with you, strap yourself in and your brand new V90 will faithfully fire up, ready to whisk you to your destination.

Interested? It gets better. Volvo says you can share the app with your wife, husband, delinquent teenage son, or your dog, so they can drive your car down to the garden centre without needing to physically pick a set of keys up off you. I can see it working a treat where I work, where I’m forever having to traipse to the other end of a rather long office simply to pick a set of keys up. All I’d need is the app and permission from the car’s owner.

It even works between different cars so that you won’t need a set of keys if you go on holiday and rent something, although whether you’d need to insist on borrowing only Volvos isn’t yet clear. It all sounds a bit Tomorrow’s World but I like the idea enormously – it’s a bit like wondering why we signed for payments in a world before chip and pin or how society ever functioned without the barcode.

All we need now is for Volvo to make the system as foolproof and boringly safe as its cars are. It will still make keys for nostalgic types who remembered starting up cars back in 2016 by twisting a quaint piece of metal, but the real challenge is to make it impossible for someone who steals your phone to also to steal your car. It’ll also need to make it a doddle to use, and not just for people who understand how LinkedIn works. Everyone knows how a key works – so to replace it successfully Volvo’s app will have to be unbelievably easy to master.

Oh, and Volvo must ensure that in no way can David Simister find a way of accidentally breaking it. Nail that last part and the future of motoring is secure.

Originally published in the 24 February issue of The Champion

Fire up the... Volvo V40

HERE'S a great petrolhead question to occupy an idle moment or two. What's the first car you ever travelled in?

For most people, it's whatever of chariot of choice is used to convey mother and baby back from the hospital, and even though my dad owned a Range Rover on that fateful day in March, 1986, it didn't fire up its V8 in anger that day. So my first ever automotive outing was in - drumroll please - a Volvo 340.

More than a quarter of a century later I've been promoted from back to front seat in the latest in a long line of Swedish family hatchbacks - Volvo's V40, which is about as far from its square-rigged ancestor as you can possibly imagine. In fact, if anything it looks like a Ford Focus with Scandinavian trimmings, which is apt because you if peel away that swoopy exterior that's near enough what it is. Which is no bad thing.

I've already written in these pages that the Focus is a fine family car contender, but the Volvo offers a similarly sized package with a more mature vibe, with the emphasis on style and quality. Perhaps £27,000 for the 1.6 diesel D2 version I tested is asking a little too much, but hunt a little further down the pecking order and you're getting something which looks and feels like a premium offering but also offers value for your money.

It's a given that it capitalises on Volvo's reputation for safety, coming not only with the practically compulsory five star rating from the gurus at Euro NCAP but a string of accident-conscious acronyms thrown in as standard too, but the great thing with the V40 is that the interior's one of the most stylish I've ever come across. The floating centre console, in particular, is a thing of beauty.

In fact, my only real gripe is that it's traded comfort for fun once you get behind the wheel - it handles as sweetly as its American cousin, but it'd much rather you settle down and relax than have a bit of fun. If you're looking for a car with the bunker-like qualities of the Golf but with a bit more style and vigour you're going to love the V40, but yoofs like me, if I'm being honest, will prefer the cheaper, cheerier Focus. The V40 hits the target for Volvo lovers, but not for me.

Perhaps, despite 26 years and my best efforts, I haven't grown up enough for this voluptuous Volvo.

A Volvo to be proud of

IT'S always nice to see a classic car being used by its owners for everyday chores, particularly if it's one as clean and cherished as this beautiful '65 Volvo.

This sober Swedish saloon - which I think is a 121 Amazon, although I could be wrong - is a brilliant example of what Volvos used to look like before their designers discoverd Etch-a-Sketch had been invented, and arguably you can see influences of it in today's rather sleeker and sportier offerings, including the latest V40.

If you own this classic Volvo by all means get in touch - I'd love to know more about it. I'm sad to admit it, but it made my lunch break seeing it on a Southport street otherwise packed with Astras and old Escorts.

Fire up the... Saab 9-5

IT'S a company that - despite a proud history of its products proving popular - seems to go from crisis to crisis.

No, it's not News International but Saab, the Swedish car company which only a few weeks ago narrowly avoided closure after it got a huge order from China. An order that'll include the impressive second generation of the 9-5.

This car, a distant cousin of Vauxhall's acclaimed Insignia, is the model which will make or break Saab's future, and if it's going to succeed it's got some very strong competition to see off. Is the 9-5, which starts at a shade over £27,000, good enough to tempt you away from not only the BMW 5-Series, but also a revitalised Jaguar XF and Audi's A6?

The good news is that you shouldn't let its General Motors origins put you off; not only is the Insignia a startingly good base to start off, being an impressive cruiser in its own right, but the 9-5 is sufficiently Saab-ish in its own right.

Thanks to an ergonomically-gifted dashboard all of its own, clever toys like the night function for the instruments and an exterior that's challenging without being ugly, you're in no doubt that the new Saab is light years ahead of its predecessor.

Yet it's successfully carried over the one thing I adored about the old model - the comfort. Even though the model I tried was the 2.8 diesel version, it's near-silent once you get up to speed and the seats, front and back, are among the comfiest I've ever experienced. If you're an executive who regularly gets a numb bum, this is the car for you.

It's just a shame that - at least on the particular car I tested - builld quality wasn't quite up to the standards of its rivals, with a chrome surrounding on one of the rear doors coming loose. I can only hope it's an isolated incident, but even then you'd have to concede the bunker-like BMW 5-Series feels more solid.

The 9-5 might not tick as many of the boxes as its rivals but feels somehow more engaging for it; what it lacks as an all-rounder in makes up for in personality, which this saloon has in spades. If you're in the market for an executive saloon but find the big sellers a bit boring, you won't be disappointed with this leftfield alternative.

We should do our bit to save Saab, because they make good cars.

The truth about Project Volvo

IT'S got to be one of the best car-related tales I've ever been told. David Cameron is a sports car and Gordon Brown is a Volvo. Ed Balls and the tabloids told us so.

The "If you were a car, what would it be?" question's been doing the rounds in the motoring magazines for donkey's years but thanks to the emergence of - and I'm honestly not making this up - Project Volvo from the Labour party's skeleton closet it's suddenly a game that's entered the national consciousness. It's a fun way of matching up your own automotive prejudices with people you don't like very much.

It's also a fun way of wasting the next five minutes.

Project Volvo, I reckon, shows up not what people thought of Gordon Brown a few years ago but the lack of petrolheads in the last Labour government (with the possible exception of Stephen Ladyman, who owned an Alfa 156 at the time). Gordon Brown a Volvo? Not a chance. Given the task of assigning an automotive brand to our last Prime Minister, I'd opt instead for Humber. Like him, it's sturdy, reliable, well-built and proudly British. Oh, and not here any more. Perfect.

David Cameron, I suspect, is much more Volvo; plenty more street cred and always full of clever ideas, but ultimately a darling of the middle classes. Nick Clegg, meanwhile, is any car you want him to be but with the the unfortunate snag of a knackered steering rack; vaguely promising to go in one direction, but then suddenly snapping at the last minute and going in the other. Don't worry; for the sake of impartiality I've got to take the mickey out of each of the three big parties equally.

The best bit about all of this though, was that Project Volvo actually upset the Swedes so much that they went on the defensive and issued a press release distancing their cars from Gordon Brown, in which they said senior politicians are all out of touch and haven't got a clue about what modern Volvo stands for.

Peter Rask, Regional President of Volvo Car UK, Ireland and Iceland, said: "If only the Labour party had been like today's Volvos - dynamic, agile and innovative - perhaps the UK economy would have been in a better place than it finds itself today!"

We'll get the Prime Minister's reaction to that in a minute. Oh wait...

Voluminous V60 also goes for coupe curves

THE days of Volvos being boring and boxy are a step closer to being banished forever after the Swedish firm launched its latest estate earlier this week.

Looking more like a curvaceous coupe than the likes of the angular Volvos of old, the V60 is the latest in a long line of load luggers to emerge from the Gothenburg factory, but the company are hoping to impress buyers with style and a sporty drive as much what it can carry.

“From the design viewpoint, the focus was on making the car as close to a coupé as possible, while retaining that handy extra space at the rear. Our sports wagon does not aim to compete with the traditional estate car. For the customer who wants a lot of load space, there is our V70 or XC70,” said Örjan Sterner, the car's head of exterior design.

“The dip in the middle of the double wave visually pushes the car down. This enhances the stance and makes the car look sleeker and lower. The sculpted bonnet and the short overhangs front and rear also emphasise the sports car feel.”

The company are also claiming it'll be a class leader when it comes to safety - it's a Volvo - and that rather than concentrating on giving buyers a cavernous boot, it's aimed more at buyers impressed with the S60 saloon's style but insistent on having the extra space of an estate.

Anyone looking to impress their fellow IKEA customers is being urged to head to Volvo dealerships in the autumn, when the V60 arrives in the UK.

Sultry new S60 goes for coupe curves

VOLVO are hoping to banish any memories of its saloons being boxy forever after it revealed earlier this week that its newest model is covered in coupe curves.

The Swedish firm unveiled the latest generation of its S60 saloon today at this year's Geneva Motorshow, and is hoping to beat BMW, Mercedes and Audi at their own game with a blend of sensual curves and the brand's longstanding reputation for strong performances in safety tests.

“In its overall shape, the all-new S60 is a coup; sportier and more distinct than any previous Volvo. In its design, it promises excellent driving characteristics, even before you get behind the wheel,” said a spokesman for the company this week.

“To deliver the highest levels of driving enjoyment, the chassis team have refined every single detail that influences a cars driving properties and fine-tuned the driving experience to offer the most dynamic ride ever seen before on a Volvo.”

Volvo says the S60, which replaces the previous model, introduced in 2000, is a coupe rather than a saloon, and has been fine-tuned on some of Britain's oldest Roman roads to make sure the driving experiences is as capable as its sportier new styling suggests.

It also comes with the company's latest in a long line of safety innovations, including Pedestrian Detection with Full Auto Brake, an optional system which uses radar cameras to spot pedestrians and give the driver a helping hand in emergency braking situations.

Prices for the new S60 are yet to be announced, but are expected to be at similar levels to the outgoing model when it arrives in UK showrooms later this year.

Chinese takeaways

WORD this week that Volvo is on the verge of becoming a Chinese takeaway has got to be a worrying way forward for the Swedish company.

I've always had a fondness for the Gothenburg firm; after all, the first vehicle I ever travelled in was a Volvo 340. Stylish it wasn't, but it was safe and dependable in a stodgy sort of way, which is exactly what you'd want if you were a newborn baby.

Everything from the turbo-nutter craziness of the '90s V70R to the C30's annoyingly cool darkened glass bootlid has left me with a liking for Volvo's products, even if some of them look a bit strange. Yet that's the problem; people only like them.

I can't think of any Volvo, past or present, which I'd buy over its immediate - and better - rivals. Even my mechanically minded flatmate, who usually buys anything if it's cheap enough, turned down the chance to buy an S40 for a paltry £100, because better cars were on offer.

And you can forget any illusions of throwing wardrobes in the back; since the Citroen Berlingo and its ilk were invented a decade ago, antique dealers no longer need Volvo estates.

Personally, I hope Chinese car giant Geely gets a better deal out of Volvo than Ford did (although a surprise buyout by IKEA would've been hilarious). Even if it's only for the safety innovations and appeasing frustrated police officers, the world still needs Volvo.