Why I love the unloved Allegro

THERE are plenty of great cars I don’t particularly like. Yet it takes a different sort of topsy-turvy logic altogether to like what’s widely regarded as Britain’s worst car.

If you’re the sort of armchair car critic who’s had their idea of what constitutes a rubbish car cemented through a lifetime of Jeremy Clarkson DVDs then you might as well click away now. If on the other hand you’re prepared to give even motoring’s worst offenders a fair trial, then you’ll be shocked by the verdict.

I’ve just spent the past three days hoofing about in an Austin Allegro – and I really enjoyed it.

It’s fashionable to give the poor old Allegro a kicking. In the past couple of years the tabloids have picked up on at least three surveys naming and shaming it as Britain’s worst car, in 2012 a Tory peer likened a poorly thought-out Government policy to one and Jeremy Clarkson could only think of the Morris Marina when looking for cars he hated more. In fact, I nearly joined them when a 1.1-litre Series 3 Allegro left me stranded on the M11 a couple of months ago.

So I wasn’t expecting much when a colleague chucked me the keys to his pride and joy – a V-registered Allegro 1.3 in a fantastically Seventies shade of brown with beige seats. Certainly, I wasn’t expecting to fire faithfully into life every time I tried to start it. Surely British Leyland relics from the decade that brought you the three day week and Terry and June aren’t supposed to do that?

Nor was I expecting it to go and steer in a genuinely entertaining way. I know from the 1.1-litre car I borrowed a few months ago that to drive they feel a bit like a Mini that ate all the pies, but this 1.3-litre car had just enough extra oomph to overcome the podge. I know you’ll find it hard to believe, but the right Allegro is a fun car to drive!

What’s more, it has room for five, the interior’s light and airy because its window pillars are so much thinner than today’s hatchbacks, and if you look hard enough you can still pick decent ones up for under a grand. Just about the only downsides are the lack of a hatchback – bizarrely, the logic was that giving it one would harm sales of the Austin Maxi – and looks that I think are cute and distinctive but most people hate.

So the world’s worst car is actually not all that bad. Don’t knock it ‘til you’ve tried it!

Rumour has it the Austin Allegro is 40 this year

SQUASHED tomatos and stew, and all that. In case you haven't seen all the birthday-themed graphics in tomorrow's edition of The Champion here's the news anyway - the newspaper celebrates its 19th anniversary this week.

All of which got me thinking of some of the more memorable motoring anniversaries heading our way this year - there's a bonanza of bashes, for instance, to mark Aston Martin's centenary. There's also the Porsche 911, which is 50, and the Corvette, which storms to 60. A few rungs back down the ladder and you've got the thirtysomething Peugeot 205, and the Hillman Imp, which hits its 50th this year.

Oh, and the classic everyone loves to hate. Believe it or not, but life begins at forty for the Austin Allegro!

If Churchill had lived long enough to see the launch and chequered career of BL's slightly misguided replacement for the 1100 I'm sure he'd have reused one of his greatest lines to sum it up. Never, in the field of automotive history, have so many urban myths been peddled by so many about one car.

There is, for starters, the one about it being more aerodynamic going backwards than forwards, which is true but only when you consider that lots of car which have those pesky air intakes and radiator grilles on the front have the same problem. There's also the persistent rumours in classic car land about wheels falling off and rear windscreens popping out, but this seems to be more down to a slim minority ending up in the hands of bad mechanics than any inherant design problems.

Yet none of these compare to the weirdest Allegro anecdote - an Allegrodote, if you will - of all. Apparently, the Allegro is banned from both of the Mersey tunnels because its chassis is too weak to cope with the prospect of being pulled out again in the event of a breakdown (something, which I know from personal experience of owning British Leyland cars, isn't that unlikely a prospect). A great story, but as far as a bit of Life On Cars research has showed so far, it's cobblers.

In fact, if you look at the actual rules and regulations covering the Kingsway and Queensway Tunnels (and there are, if you're feeling a bit of an anarok and don't have much of a social life, a lot to leaf through) there is not a single mention of the Austin Allegro being banned, or any other make or model of car. If you have any hard evidence to the contrary that doesn't begin with the words “Rumour has it...” by all means feel free to send it in but otherwise I can say there is absolutely no evidence to suggest the Allegro is banned from the Mersey tunnels.

Weird, but true.

Why the little Austin Seven is worth celebrating in 2012

THE Austin Seven - and I know I'm going out on a limb on this one - is the most significant motor ever made in a British factory.

It's officially now 2012 which means people with boiler suits and beards will be getting the party poppers out for a couple of cars celebrating significant anniversaries this year; everything from the AC Cobra, which reaches its half century, my own MGB GT, for which life begins at 40, and even the Ford Cortina, which first rolled out of the showrooms 50 years ago this year.

But it's the curious little Seven- a creation that'll be a staggering 90 years old this year - that I reckon should be the one worth celebrating, because the impact it's had on British motoring is still being felt to this day.

It's well documented that it effectively did for us what the Model T Ford did for the Americans, but did you know that it was the first small car that had all the controls where we'd expect to find them today? No messing about with two gearlevers or four pedals for your feet - just good, honest and easy to drive, like a Polo or a Fiesta.

Austin might be long gone but the car companies it inspired aren't; a lavishly-trimmed version, called the Swallow, eventually proved to be the ancestor to all of today's Jaguars, Lotus founder Colin Chapman cut his teeth by modifying old Austins, and Alec Issigonis - the man behind the Morris Minor and the Mini - first wowed the motoring world with a racing car based loosely on a Seven.

I know it's hard to imagine in 2012 a boxy, cramped, noisy and slow old vintage car being particularly good at anything but then in the old days, when everyone had TB and lived in black and white, Austin wasn't up against other cars. You either bought one of those or you bought a horse, and it's because of this that the Seven got oridinary Brits off their saddles and behind their steering wheels for the very first time.

You might not be that impressed with the Seven, but you can bet your great grandparents were.

Hundred End Festival of Transport

CLASSIC car connoisseurs from across Sefton and West Lancashire helped to make a charity festival held near Hesketh Bank a success.

More than 200 owners of classic and vintage cars and motorbikes headed to Elim, off Hundred End Lane for the 10th Hundred End Festival of Transport, which organiser Brian Moorcroft told Life On Cars had met with a warm response despite wet weather during parts of the weekend (August 13 and 14).

“It was a very good event, with about 250 cars in all, and even though the weather wasn't on our side earlier on the sun did eventually come out and make it an event everybody enjoyed,” he said.

“Even though there was another event on in Lytham St Annes on the same weekend, which made it quieter than usual, we were still confident we could beat last year's fundraising total of £2,840, which goes towards helping the Clatterbridge Cancer Care Trust.

Mr Moorcroft, who exhibited his own 1933 Austin 10 Cabriolet, also added that he would like to thank both William Hunter of Huntapac for providing portable toilets for the event free of charge, and Mere Brow business Top Trophies North for providing the trophies presented as awards to entrants in the event.

Have you got a motoring event or story for Life On Cars? Get in touch with David Simister on 01704 392404 or send an email to david.simister@champnews.com