I'd rather have a Suzuki Swift than a 170mph Lexus

This is one of the contrived conclusions I've come to after spending a day driving a selection of newly-launched cars around the Yorkshire countryside, after which I sat down and pondered whether I really am The Champion office petrolhead. I'll say it again; I'd rather have a Suzuki Swift than a 170mph Lexus.

The Society of Motor Manufacturers and Traders test drive days for the media are a bit like speed dating for cars, and it was at one of these events today that I somehow managed to persuade a nice man working for the Toyota/Lexus press office to lend me the keys to the Lexus IS-F, a banzai belter of a saloon that's being dubbed the Japanese M3. No, I don't know why he thought it was a good idea either.

Don't get me wrong; I loved the Lexus, primarily because it's by far and away the most bonkers car I've ever been allowed to drive. Anyone not familiar with this four-door flyer might dismiss it as a normal Lexus saloon with a bad Max Power bodykit on it, but the first moment you mash your right foot into the floor and get the 414bhp V8 to strut its stuff is sublime and scary in equal measure. It is intoxicatingly, frighteningly and licence-losingly fast.

Which is why I couldn't recommend it, because its strongest suit, the tidal wave of torque it offers up, is also its biggest drawback. The moments when you feel the explosiveness of this car's engine are just that; moments, because within seconds you've shot up to speeds you really shouldn't be doing. It's an addictive hit of epic acceleration, but get hooked and it'll get you into trouble.

I'm actually beginning to wonder whether I hanker for horsepower at all. A week after whinging that a wheelspinning Jag was completely outclassed by Escorts and Polos in an endurance race, I've realised that an entirely different bit of Japanese automotive engineering to the Lexus is a belter for Britain's highways and byways.

Suzuki's new Swift is about as far from the IS-F as I can imagine, but a combination of balletic handling, a flick-of-the-wrist gearchange and a sweet engine that sings rather than roars made it far more fun in the real, Gatso-ridden world. It's as if someone's stolen a Mazda MX-5, one of my favourite sports cars, disguised it as a small shopping car, and then put it on sale.

It really is that good.

Full road tests of the ten cars David Simister drove in Yorkshire will be posted on the Fire Up The... page in the coming weeks.