Yes! Yes! Yes!

EVEN if he didn't bring down the Berlin Wall there's one thing we can all learn from David Hasselhoff; never, ever try talking to your car.

I was reminded of the Baywatch star and ambassador of all things slightly cringeworthy while at the wheel of Mazda's MX-5, one of my favourite little sports cars, in what should have been one of the most delightful drives I've bagged all year. With 2010's longest evening, a seaside resort, sunshine and a bright red roadster at my disposal, I had all the right ingredients.

It's just a shame I mucked it up by trying to set up the phone instead.

On the face of it cars with Bluetooth are a brilliant idea, because it removes any temptation to race around with Nokia's finest glued to your face, although it's something I was a bit surprised to find in something as singlemindedly sporty as the two seater MX-5. The problem is - and it's something I've found with every car cum communication gizmo - is that they just don't work.

The little Mazda, for instance, has a button on the steering wheel you press, at which point a female voice which sounds eerily similar to a BBC newsreader asks you to simply say the number you want to call. You then tell Anna Ford that you'd like to ring the missus, at which point she'll read back a number completely different to the one you've just told her.

“Is this number correct?”

You'll then have to say “No, no, NO” repeatedly until the gadget hears you, a task made trickier still by the whooshing wind noise you'll get if you've got the MX-5's roof down. The whole process repeats itself in an increasingly depressing loop, until Anna tells you, in her kindest BBC Breakfast voice, that you can't call your girlfriend, because she no longer exists.

It was only at this point that I realised I was driving around Crossens on my own while shouting “Yes, yes, yes!” at my car, and that absolutely every other road user could hear me because - being in a convertible on a sunny evening - the roof was down.

At least KITT could tell David Hasselhoff he looked like he a lunatic. Mazda's MX-5 might be brilliant, but it's not intelligent enough to do that just yet.