Actually, I'm a rubbish driver after all

I THOUGHT Al Gore's truth was inconvenient but the Institute of Advanced Motorists were right after all; old drivers are better than younger ones.

You might remember I'd been invited to take part in Lancashire County Council's Drive On Course, which would give me a chance to sharpen up my driving skills, and one of the most frustrating parts was being asked to catch a strip of card over and over again when it was dropped through my hands by a driving guru. I was sure it would show me up as the next Schumacher, but I was wrong.

The card in question is dotted with markers designed to show just how quick my reactions weren't, and no matter how hard I tried, my clammy digits clasped the “slow” line every time, proving that any thoughts I had of being able to tame TVRs and catch Caterhams through tricky corners are way off the mark.

I've always grown up with this Biggles-esque impression that speed belongs to the young, which is why you never see jet fighters being piloted by pensioners. Forty in the world of Formula One is getting on a bit. But if I were to take any Saxo, 206 or Clio for a cross-country blat, insurance statistics say there's a good chance it'll eventually end up being depicted on a badly-edited community website in a crumpled heap. That's because - and I hate to admit it - us Yoofs just aren't very good at driving.

I always thought charging the poorest drivers the most for insurance was a rotten deal, but after being driven by a mate who thought tailgating on a snowy M6 at 110mph was a skilled and safe way of getting about, I can understand exactly why so many of the cars mates of mine own get totalled. I'm not exactly holier-than-thou either; I might be collision-free but that doesn't make me a wonder at the wheel.

Charging drivers who barely remember the '90s more is never going to work - it just means they'll skimp on brakes, which come in handy when you're driving. Make the driving test harder for starters, and then insist that all new drivers are issued with four-wheel-drive Subaru Imprezas to eliminate their chances of sliding off a slippy road. Naturally, city bankers will fund it.

One of this column's readers - yes, it has some - told me that age and experience will always overcome youthful exuberance. As much as it annoys my inner Le Mans winner, he's right.

The full feature on my drive with Lancashire's advanced instructors will be published on Life On Cars and in The Champion later this week.